3 Leadership & Influence Principles Revealed Through Exhaustive Research

By: Charles (Bill) Carpenter

CORE Leadership Principles will empower you to effectively influence and lead the people in your life. If you have not read the article, “3 Reasons Highly Successful People and Organizations Build Core Values” do so before reading this article. In this article we will explore the three levels of influence and the must have elements of effective leadership. The content of this article is based on more than five years of exhaustive research not double-blind empirical studies but scientific gap studies, historical analysis, literature review, and drawing conclusions from extensive action research.

What is a leader?

            If you have been mislead into believing that leadership is something you are born with or a title you’ve been given you need a wake up call. You may have sensational communication skills, an academic edge, a prestigious position and executive parking space, but if there is no one following you, you have not arrived. You are a true leader only when others have made a conscious decision to follow you. We may never fully understand why people choose to follow some; but we can learn allot by examining great leaders and their followers. Doing just that over several years has clarified three must have qualities for effective leadership. What are the determining factors that cause people to choose leaders in their life?

            Leaders are men and women who can influence individuals or groups to think, feel and take specific action to achieve specific goals. Leadership occurs wherever there are people. Sometimes leadership is subtle and at other times leaders are highly visible public figures. In every family there are leaders. In every organization there are leaders; and within the organizations departments there are varying levels of leadership. In every social group there are leaders. There are leaders among every economic class. Regardless of the class or group one thing is certain, the leaders among us have made themselves heard and convinced at least some to follow them. Why we choose to follow is what this paper will reveal.

How does influence occur?

            Influence can occur at several different levels. I will influence some and never know it because I made no conscious effort to do so; they were simply affected in some way by something I said or did and took some action as a result. I will influence others quite intentionally. Whether I influence intentionally or not the influence occurs on one or a combination of the three following levels.

            The first level of influence is the intellect or thought life. All beliefs and behaviors begin as simply a thought or series of thoughts in origin. What we think about, if we think about it long enough, will produce or become our convictions. Our convictions will produce our consistent behavioral choices. It takes very little influence or social power to affect ones thoughts. If a visitor to the United States was to enter the freeway only to be cut off rudely by an inconsiderate driver he or she may begin to think about what kind of person would drive so thoughtlessly and feel very emotional about the situation; the rude driver has unknowingly influenced the visitor’s thought life. Most influence occurs only at the level of thought and such influence is short lived in most cases. Since I know that intellect is the most likely yet elementary level of influence I spend much of my time sharpening my ability to influence people's intellect. If I can artfully say or write something that will tickle your intellect enough to cause you to ponder an idea or principle for some time I will more likely affect your convictions.

                       The second level of influence is conviction. If I am to influence ones convictions I will have to make a more deliberate effort to do so unless I am part of a social group that has repeatedly influenced your thought life to the end result of shaping your convictions about that group, such as a church, social group or consistent social stimuli. For example, consider the visitor that experienced the rude driver on the freeway; if this visitor experiences this type of driver often he or she may conclude that “all Americans” are rude. Convictions are seldom shaped in a moment or by a single experience. Few of us will allow our convictions to be influenced by a person that we do not know well. In fact, am emotionally healthy person understands their convictions and their origins and safeguards them.

             The third level of influence is behavior; behavioral influence is the highest order of influence that can be acquired. If I have enough influence over you to influence your behavior you will do what I ask with little or no question or reserve. This level of influence can be obtained through manipulative measures such as fear and consequence, an unhealthy response to fear is to surrender your behavior to that which scares you; terrorism is an attempt to control behavior through fear tactics. Most commonly a person will not let you directly influence their behavior unless they feel very close and committed to you, as is the case with a parent and child or a loving relationship. In such cases behavioral influence in healthy and appropriate. If my four year old daughter is walking toward the curb at a busy intersection and I shout "Breann STOP" she will stop without question or reserve, should parents have this measure of influence or control of their children, of course they should and for obvious reasons. Should my boss have such immediate and controlling measures of influence? That is debatable.

            If to be a leader means that you so influence people that they choose to follow you, and it does, then the strength of your leadership will be determined by the depth of the influence you have with your followers. So why do people choose to lower their defenses, acknowledge our influence and follow us. Through exhaustive research, sampling feedback from men and women from many walks of life and professions we have identified the three critical elements of influence and leadership. The three elements of leadership are: Rapport, Credibility and Trust.

Rapport

            It would be very unlikely that you would choose to follow someone with whom you share nothing in common. If you perceive me to be very different from you then you will be reluctant to relate to me. Rapport is made or lost in the fraction of a second that it takes a person to make an assumption about you.

One evening, after being on my feet all day speaking, I changed into my favorite sweat pants, tee-shirt and sandals to make a long drive to the next city where I would speak at a very prestigious hotel. I arrived at the front desk tired and weary only to be greeted by a pointer finger in my face as the front desk clerk motioned another guest to the desk while asking me to step aside and wait. I thought, WOW this must be a very important person. Then another guest was ushered ahead of me and then a third. Finally the clerk acknowledged me reached into a drawer and slid a job application across the desk to me. Aware that the clerk had assumed I was a jobless man because of my clothes I began to feel both angry and playful. So I slid my “Platinum” frequent stay card across the desk at him and suggested that he might rather complete the application for himself. I saw his face turn ashen white as he recognized my card and realized the mistake he had made. In a fraction of a second he mad assumptions about me, based on my attire, that lead him to conclude, based on his convictions, that I was less worthy of respect than the well dressed person behind me. Building rapport is the first step in establishing influence and leadership. If you feel I am extremely different then you will disregard me and what I have to say. Immediate rapport can be established by simply managing appearance; lasting rapport will be established by how the other person or people perceive my behaviors and conversation. Every thing I say or do will either confirm or challenge their first assumptions of me therefore making or breaking rapport.

There are three specific things you should always consider as they will make or break your ability to build rapport. The first is appearance; be neat and dressed appropriately for the occasion. I have heard it said that one should only be concerned with being dressed his best not dressed the best, this has worked for me. If you feel a need to out-dress your audience, dressing up more than ten percent better than them may have a reverse affect. Over dressed can be as damaging as under dressed as they perceive you too different. The second is presentation; be punctual, never too early and never late and make a modest appearance, never too loud or too quiet. Do not assume a place of honor unless it has been clearly communicated that you should take such a place or seat. When entering a room take time to observe what is going on and being discussed. Enter conversations cautiously after deciding what kind of impression you want to make: humorous, cultured, relaxed or intellectual for examples. The third consideration is chosen content; people really do judge you by the words you use. Speak of nothing you do not fully understand unless it is to ask questions. Speak of nothing that may offend. Choose your conversations with gracefulness and diplomacy. When you make a solid and positive first impression you greatly increase your ability to build lasting rapport.

You can continue to build on your rapport by practicing good social skills. Listen actively by asking questions and seeking to understand your audience. Model the personality of your audience; for example if your audience uses a quiet tone of voice consider adjusting the tone of your voice to more closely match theirs, if they are seated on the edge of their seat, move forward likewise. Avoid talking too much or too long, don’t monopolize a conversation or social event. I recommend the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Make the advice your reading here a lifestyle and you will go far.

Credibility

            Credibility is the quality of being knowledgeable, experienced, believable or trustworthy. If I don’t believe you’ve "been there and done that" then I won’t likely follow your lead. Of a national sampling of more than five thousand people we could not find one person who believed anyone was credible solely because of academic training or credentials. Those who choose to follow you will be looking to find dirt under your nails; if it isn’t there it isn’t likely they will follow you far. Before choosing to follow you people want to know you’ve "been there done that.” You can build credibility faster by showing instead of telling. When you must tell be sure to reference previous experiences and avoid text book examples; no one really cares what the text book says or that you know what it says if there is no evidence that it has been proven and tried. Do not bluff or exaggerate, for every time you get away with such deceptive tactics you place yourself at risk of damaging both credibility and trust in the event of exposure. Your credibility hangs on every word you speak and every action you take.

Several years ago I attended a seminar on “tactful communication” arriving early at the hotel I overheard an altercation where a hotel employee was being viciously blasted by an unhappy customer including name-calling and insults. I went on to secure my morning “cup of joe” and find a seat in the meeting room where the event was to be held. The event started and much to my surprise the speaker was the fire breathing customer I had witnessed in the hall earlier that morning. Needless to say I decided immediately that I would be wasting my day listening to this man talk about tactful communication.

Don’t misunderstand me; your credentials do serve as a catalyst to building the much sought after credibility and you should use your credentials with tact and moderation. When I present on project management I mention that I am the author of a book on the topic and I may even reference that I hold certification if I feel the audience will be impressed by that, not every audience will. The point I am trying to make is that you should act and perform as if you know what you are doing. You will find that your skillful use of vocabulary, familiarity with the industry or subject matter and poise will leave people assuming you have the academic credentials. Your message, behavior, presentation and self-acclamation must be congruent. I will leave you with some credibility building tips and move on to the third element of leadership.

A few things you can do to build immediate credibility are:

1.                               Expand your vocabulary

2.                               Read diverse books to broaden your scope of knowledge

3.                               Attend classes to acquire knowledge, certification or credits

4.                               Get published by writing articles or books

5.                              Commit to staying on the cutting edge

Trust

            Trust is a small word but it carries a lot of weight. Trust is earned. People do not trust you simply because you posses knowledge or even experience. To define trust is very difficult because nearly every person you talk to has a different idea about what trust is and how it is earned. The Webster dictionary defines trust as reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etcetera, of a person or thing; confidence.

If I may be so presumptuous I would like to define trust with this statement: To trust is to rely on or act on ones knowledge or direction without question or reservation. If I tell my little girl to jump from the top of the slide so I can catch her she will because she trusts me; if I asked the same of your child, your child would be reluctant to trust me as a stranger. A healthy individual will not allow me to directly influence their convictions or behavior unless they trust me. While some people are more trusting than others you will find that it usually takes a great deal of time and effort to build trust.

Trust is built in degrees, for example you may trust the school bus driver to take your child to the school but if you don’t know him or her you would be a fool to let your child spend the night at the drivers house. If I find rapport with you and feel that you are credible I will listen to what you say and evaluate the information against what I already know and believe if it passes my rigorous test I will take action on what you say. If I have taken your advice on numerous occasions and experienced positive results I will start taking your advice with less reserve.

I use a mechanic in my small community that I trust very much; I have taken my vehicles to Bill on several occasions and he always charged far less than the work was worth, so now I just leave my vehicle on his lot with a note explaining what I want done with instructions to do whatever he feels is best and to bill me whatever it’s worth. I know that he will be more than fair.

In surveys people identified what they felt made a person trustworthy; the list included integrity, thoroughness, fairness, punctuality, dependability, consistency, caring and transparency. Trust is often built or compromised by the small or seemingly unimportant things we do or don’t do. A sales team leader promises to provide a page of specs for a salesperson on the team and forgets. The first time may be forgiven, but repeat forgetfulness may be perceived as uncaring, negligent or dishonest behavior therefore compromising trust. If on Monday I am pleasant and on Tuesday I am irritable and moody I may be perceived as untrustworthy. It would be better if I were consistently grumpy, at least people know what to expect. If I tell my little girl to jump from the slide for me to catch her and consistently catch her she will jump without any reserve. How many times would I have to miss before she would become hesitant? So how many times have you missed as a leader? You may not be catching anyone from a fall but the people who follow you are jumping and they expect you to be there.

There are a few simple things you can do that will begin to strengthen your trustworthiness. Begin by occasionally asking your people how they are and what they need from you; show you care. Step in and offer assistance when it isn’t your responsibility. Do more than is expected. Be willing to compromise; be willing to lose. Apologize for mistakes and dropped balls promptly. Say "thank you" often. Be punctual. Be excellent. Be thorough. Be consistent.

Have you noticed not everyone can be lead? This is because of a lack of trust. Interestingly we often perceive this as ego. Reality is the person won’t let their guard down or risk being out-performed for fear that they may be hurt. If you are dealing with someone that can’t be lead or can’t be lead by you don’t take it personally. You are OK they need therapy.

These people come in many shapes and sizes and at least three behavioral styles. The silencer comes across as the quiet type and may be overly agreeable; they are very closed and introvert. The conqueror is assertive and often disagreeable; they like to have it their way and appear to be know-it-alls. The pretender is hard to read and often has charisma; they like neutrality and are usually accommodating to your face. Regardless of the behavior, they behave the way they do because they don’t trust. Don’t play therapist and don’t be a people pleaser this will only compromise your credibility with others. Simply be aware that there are some you can lead and some you can't. You will find that overextending yourself to win those that are difficult to lead usually backfires.

I hope this brief paper helps you understand leadership and influence a little better. Send me an email and let me know how this article has helped you. I am available for keynotes, seminars and coaching and would love to work with you and yours to increase you influence with peers or customers. Simply email, charles@charlesspeaks.com for information and availability.

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